Rocky Mountain Climbing #12: Dads and Daughters
Last Stretches I asked my daughter Sarah to come out for the afternoon. Much to my delight (and surprise) she agreed. Sarah has never been to Choices, but she has heard Suzy and me talk repeatedly about my experiences (drone on and on I think is how she says it at times), listened to the music and been the subject of much “coaching” on accountability, apologies and all good things Choices.
(One of the best times we had was driving a herd of young girls at that time to one of Sarah’s birthday party. I taught them the “Dog Breath” song. It was a Wow fun time.)
I wanted her to come out so I could introduce her to all of the really wonderful young women that were going to be there, like: Tiffany, Jenna and Julie, Margaret and Andrea, Michelle and Elizabeth to name a few. I see in all of these young women traits I hoped Sarah would see and know for a certainty what a difference she can make in the world.
Following Stretches, Sarah’s main comment, besides really being Wowed by everyone she met, was “Gosh Dad, you know all the words to all of the songs!”
Afterwards I also realized I was also really proud of Sarah and part of the reason I wanted her to come to Choices was so I could show her how proud I was of her by introducing her to my friends.
Sarah’s life was changed at age 8 by my leaving and subsequently divorcing her mother. We (including me) struggle with civility to this day, leaving her many times in the middle of things, acting more adult than the adults. As I said, I am accountable for many of these ongoing problems.
Recently, Sarah decided to move in with Suzy and me. She has been a real delight. I have been able to see and be with her more than I have in many years and I have watched her grow up even more in the last few months.
She makes good grades and is the Captain of the drill team at her high school. She drives a truck, being a real Texan, which was just painted bright pink as a gift from her grandmother (and my mother). She is a WOW.
Now she is looking at colleges and universities.
Much to my delight she is really interested in my school the University of Missouri- Mizzou. This is also where my mother still lives. Sarah had never been to a college football game, so I got tickets arranged through my mother and headed up last weekend.
We left about 5:20 in the morning. After stocking up on essentials at 7-11, donuts and drinks, we hit the road. The girls (Sarah’s friend Sarah Shrempf along as well since her sister Hanna was a freshman at Mizzou) burrowing into blankets and pillows to go back to sleep.
I pushed a Choices CD into the player and first up was the Alabama song: “Look Heart No Hands” and started softly singing the words to the song:
“Tennis shoes up on the handlebars,
Pay no mind to the passing cars,
No doubts,
No fears…”
When, Sarah gently tugged on my shirtsleeve. I knew immediately she was saying, without words, that she loved me and she appreciated me driving her to see the school of her choice. I said, out loud: “I love you.” And she was soon asleep.
Over the next miles I was flooded with my memories of Sarah and Keaton growing up. As they advance into young adulthood I pray that they continue to make the good choices they are making today.
And I hope I get the chance sometime again to feel a gentle tug on my shirt.
Love, Durk
