At church Sunday at the Vail Church we had testimony from a young women who had gone through these kind of trials. It is only apt that I should receive this from one of my Choices buddies- Sandy Valenzuela. Thank you for sharing this with me.

Have I said yet, or told you that Suzy always knows what’s best for me? Sometimes in unimaginable ways.

My nephew Scott was being married in St. Louis. I was invited. I had been fussing about whether or not to go. The cost to fly from Denver to St. Louis, the drive down the mountain, the time off from my busy work schedule… and on and on.

Of course I wanted to go be at Scott’s wedding. I had heard wonderful tings about Scott’s betrothed: Denise (confirmed), how charming her family was (confirmed), how big her family was (conformed) and how much fun the day was going to be (it was).

I was able to spend time with my mother (I danced with her), my two sisters Cathy and Patty (Scott’s mother), my two nephews Scott and Michael and my two nieces Katie and Jenny. All grand and glorious events.

What I didn’t expect was to meet Val.

Val is a long time friend of my sister Patty’s. I have been praying for Val off and on for 5 years. Val made it to Scott’s wedding only a few days after having surgery to have a brain tumor removed. This was the second or third occurrence of cancer in the preceding 5 years. Val is a small woman with a smile and an attitude that fills any room she is in with her goodness. I sat next to her at the church and at dinner. She was so kind and generous, even laughing at my silly attempts to get her 10 year old daughter Reed to laugh (something about trying to convince Reed during the wedding ceremony that the backlit case to the right of the altar was a popcorn machine, and that they would be serving soon… well you had to be there).

So an hour at the church and a couple of hours at dinner, I sat beside her eating my humble pie.

I didn’t know what to say to her. I wish I could have said something of comfort to her… anything. I had nothing. I didn’t even think until the very moment of writing this to ask God for something to say to her.

So now I will write it.

Val I will pray for you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers for as long as I have breath. I do know that my prayers will abide in you as the Holy Spirit abides in me and that my in-eloquence will be changed to eloquence.

RMC #34: The Greatest Miracle I Have Ever Seen

It is 4:23 AM. I have been wrestling with this miracle for almost 2 weeks now. I am still not sure what to make of it or what to think about it. The refrain of a song has been going through my head tonight. I don’t know who sings it or the name of the song, but the refrain is:

“My Deliverer is Coming,

My Deliverer is Standing by.”

On Tuesday August 14^th I left Colorado driving our Envoy with Sarah riding with me and my son Keaton driving the Taurus following me. We were headed to Denton for Keaton to head back to school at UNT and then I was dropping Sarah off at her mother’s house and where later in the week I was taking her down to College Station to begin her freshman year as an Aggie (instead of a Missouri Tiger, but I’ve already told you that story).

It’s a long drive.

We switched off driving and resting/sleeping and were making pretty good time, though I was probably driving too slowly for the kids taste.

About 10 PM we made our last pit stop and were then only about an hour from Denton coming down Interstate 35. Everyone was in good spirits as we were nearing the end of our trip.

Keaton was particularly excited about getting back as he was moving into his new apartment the next day and also because it was to be his 21^st birthday. He was born at about 2 AM in the morning of the 15^th, meaning we were also close to his actual birth date and time.

So we were chugging along, Sarah and I in the Envoy chatting about her new life as a college girl, when I happened to look in my rear view mirror.

The car behind me, suddenly veered to the left, ran across the second lane and went onto the left shoulder and then off part way over the shoulder. I saw the car somehow correct and jump back onto the highway, lurch a couple of times and slow down.

There were no other cars anywhere on the highway other than the Envoy and Keaton in the car behind me.

“My Deliverer is Coming,

My Deliverer is Standing by.”

I am not sure what I said at that moment when I saw this occur immediately behind me. I know I was able to pull over, I talked with Keaton and he said something about “nodding off”, send Sarah back to ride with Keaton and keep him awake and then to stagger onward. I must have said “Thanks be to God!” a hundred times the next few miles and minutes as I saw this scene replayed in my mind over and over again.

I can tell you even 2 weeks later I still don’t know what to think or feel. Thinking or talking about this has been too frightening for my words to catch up. My own mortality is understood and being dealt with as best it can, but the mortality of one of my children is beyond comprehension.

So I have dealt with it in typical green fashion, I have been processing.

And I have fallen back on some my same old bad habits and doing things I really don’t like to be admitting that I am doing. I know without much effort of thinking about it that I am being attacked. The gift of the life of my son, truly delivered by God, has ended up leaving me open to fear.

So I can’t sleep tonight. I have relived and replayed the cars lights going over the shoulder again and again.

I hear, finally, through all of this noise of my mind: “How much more must I show you?”

“My Deliverer is Coming,

My Deliverer is Standing by.”

He is always there for me and has shown me time and again. I know he is inside of me and that when I am in his will life is so sweet.

I wish I weren’t so human and did not leave so much room for Satan. But I am and so I ask for deliverance once again.

I thank you God for looking after Keaton that night on the road. And I ask you to look out for him and for my daughter Sarah. These two precious gifts you allotted to me are beyond my ability to understand why I am so blessed.

And, now I know, without a doubt, that you are always standing by them.